Way #1

Honoring Feelings:

Becoming Fully Known and Deeply Loved

HEART STRINGS

Instead of a daily sharing time, we have adopted some other ways to stay mostly in touch with each other’s feelings.  Some might think that after forty years together (as of 2024), we would be constantly aware of what each other is feeling.  Actually, we can get lulled into thinking that way until we ask a question and then learn something we didn’t know.  “What’s the best/worst thing that happened to you today?”  “How did that feel?”   “What worries you these days?”  “What can you tell me about your feelings lately?” 

We developed an exercise for couples that makes it easier to share feelings with each other.  We recently renamed it Heart Strings and you’ll find it at the end of this chapter.  It has been used by participants in some of our workshops and trainings, and includes questions like, “When was the last time you felt _______________?”  Participants would fill in the blank from a list of feelings we provided.  Sometimes the novelty of being able to learn each other’s feelings this way created enough enthusiasm that participants didn’t want to conclude the exercise.

The More We Care to Tell

Who and what I care about
Is part of who I am.
Also, how I fear the worst
When I’m in a jam.

Knowing about how I feel
Is part of knowing me.
How well you know my heart depends
On what I let you see.

With you, my tender sweetheart
I want to share it all.
When you look into my heart
There shouldn’t be a wall.

So I will make the effort
To tell you how I feel.
It may be like an onion,
In layers as I peel.

And as our hearts grow closer
As we share tenderly
I’ll get to know the real you
And you the real me.

Our aim is to be fully known
And deeply loved as well,
Growing in our closeness
The more we care to tell.

Now we invite you to continue to the exercise (printable for your use)  (click here).